Carnival Kid

“No, no! We need to go today! It’s the haunted day. Its only today. Please mom!” said a young boy pulling his mother’s hands.

“No Kunal. We can’t go today. I’ll take you there tomorrow and even the day after; your aunt Maggie is arriving tonight. We have to tend to her” she paused and looked at the boy “don’t you want to meet aunt Maggie? She always brings nice gifts for you.”

“I can meet her later, at night. But today is important. Please take me to the carnival. Please mother; Please mom!” he knelt down and started sobbing.

Mom was not baffled of course! She had been taking care of Kunal since he was tiny. Tantrums as these were a mundane ordeal. “I’ll cook you Gajar ka Halwa if you obey me.” The sobs went silent. Enticed by the name of the delectable treat he looked up to his mother like a puppy looks to his own. Yes, the trick would have worked; mom had the next line at the tip of her tongue, had Kunal’s father not slouched through the window.

“Dad! Look! Help! Please take me to the carnival today. I’ll do whatever you say. Mom will not take me” he cried, now pulling his father’s sleeve.

“I’m too tired boy. I’ll take you tomorrow. It’ll Sunday too!” he thumped down on the chintzy sofa.

“Wait Kunal, don’t you want the halwa?” mother said slyly approaching the crooked table.

“No! I do not want the halwa! I want to go to the carnival today!” the un-hackable trick had failed, “Always at the wrong place at the wrong time” she murmured and left the room “You take care of him now Yash!”

“Dad Please! I will take Tony out for a walk everyday! I promise! Please take me out today. It’s the haunted day – the haunted ride!”

Yash relaxed back into the mushy pillow, looked at the room right across the dining hall and thought to himself ‘Shit! I forgot the lightbulb again. Suru will kill me today.’ He then leaned forward, looked into little Kunal’s eyes and said, “If I take you out, do you promise to never play football in the house again?”

“Yes! I promise! I will never do it!”

Yash knew that the promise would be broken soon, but men are simple; they live only in the moment, “Well go get dressed then! You are getting us late now!”

“Yes!” Kunal exclaimed and rushed to his room. “Kunal!” shouted his mother, but little did it scare him. “You are spoiling him! We must now fulfil all his wishes. He should learn that people don’t always get what they want!”

“He’s only twelve years old Suru! Relax, he’s not going to run away tomorrow. You have an entire life to teach him” he unbuttoned his shirt and went walked towards the bathroom.

Kunal and his father had delectable Gajar ka Halwa before leaving for the Winter Carnival.

“Wait a minute” said Suru as she waved the two off the house “You forgot the lightbulb, didn’t you?” she shouted.

“Let’s go son” he pushed Kunal into the car “I’ll get it on my way back” he screamed as he drove off.

In warm and immaculate clothes the two drove across the Hauman Mandir, to the Lohapul and finally to the St Agustin field, where Kunal’s dreamland awaited him. The carnival was always set up in the month of November. The reason for it was anyone’s guess. The Pujas in October would have ended and Christmas was a long time away. Nevertheless, the Winter Carnival drew thousands of people everyday! Some came for the delicious strawberry rossogolla and honey flavoured Sandesh while others came to enjoy pure artistry in the form of plays and musicals. Many of course came for the sheer joy of the rides.

At any point the 135 acre field was bustling with colours of green, red and blue and every shade they could form. The din coupled with the bright lights washed away the illusion of the night. The perimeter was covered with stalls selling articles from books to fake human body parts – who ever did buy them? The centre tent was the theatre for artists and everyone looking for pleasant entrainment, and the remaining area was covered with rides like the ‘The Colombus’ ‘The Break-dance’ ‘The Giant Ferris Wheel’ and of course, ‘The Haunted Coaster’. Clowns and vendors of candy moved across the place and quite surprisingly, there was always place for people to move about freely.

Yash parked the car close to the main entrance. He was lucky enough to find a spot there. They got off the car “Now, you will always be holding my hand. Never ever leave it. It is very crowded inside” he also cautioned Kunal about the scoundrels that kidnapped kids and forced them to beg on the streets of faraway cities. Kunal nodded in agreement.

“Ok. Let us go now. I don’t want to miss the haunted coaster tonight.”

They got in line; Kunal still held his father’s hand. Gleeful, but cautious of the scoundrels, he doubted the old man that smiled to him from far away. They got the tickets and moved away from the line.

“The counter guys told me that the haunted coaster is open all throughout the period of the carnival. You told me it was only today. Did you lie to me son?” he sternly asked Kunal.

“No” he said after a moment of silence “The extremely haunted night is tonight. It’s the new moon. It will be scarier today”

“No, that’s not how it works” he said rubbing his forehead, but then he remembered about the commercial they had watched a week ago. It was a gimmick to attract people at the night of the new moon; and sadly, Kunal seemed to be a victim of it. ‘Oh, what does he know? Just let it be’ he thought to himself. The he dusted off his beige creased pants and sauntered to the main entrance gate.

That is where my memory faded. Ah! Memories! The feature films of every man, where he himself is the hero. The fact that so little is known about their existence has always intrigued me. Isn’t it astonishing that you never remember them consciously, but they remain dormant somewhere in the back of your head. Until an agent from the outside world decides to trigger it. For me, this agent was the smell of fresh Gajar ka Halwa as I stood outside the entrance gate, just as I did fourteen years ago. Dad was not with me of course; he had grown too old for a carnival. In a black, thick overcoat I stood outside taking in the aroma. Memories! You recall nothing, but when one bubbles up, a floodgate opens somewhere and you are surrounded by a mystical fog of joy, laughter or sadness.

Sixteen years is a long time and many events, can take place in a long time. Enough to change your perception, your wisdom and even your own existence. Something great was awaiting me inside; I felt it. Just like I had felt it at the age of ten. With the golden ticket in the cold hands, I walked towards the gate. The guard gently took away my ticket and tore it into half, “You can go in now. Remember the exit is on the other side. I have many idiots coming here to get out of the fare.”

“Ramesh da? Is that you? Look how old you’ve grown” the guard looked in confusion; he squinched his eyes and tried hard to recall my face. “It’s me. Kunal! Yash’s son!”

“Oh! Of course!” he said after think for a while “When did you return? How are you? How’s that old man of yours?” he laughed.

“Oh, he’s great. So am I” I said as someone sighed from the line behind. I turned around, looked back at Ramesh da and said, “It’s a busy evening for you. I will come to your house tomorrow morning, along with dad”

“Yeah. That would be fine. Witty as always” he said in that old accent of his. Kunal bid him farewell and walked right in. Right before him stood the pink tent selling freshly made cotton candy.

“Hello Uncle Albert!” I said with my hands on the bamboo that made the stall.

“It’s Kunal, Dad!” said a young man from behind. “Of course I remember him. He stole two packets of vanilla candy from inside the stall years ago. Even today, look how he’s eying the one kept at the corner!”

“I wouldn’t call it stealing. My father paid for it after” I sighed.

“Oh, your father. Has he grown too old to come and visit? Or does he only care about his round belly; always nourishing it!” We laughed together and continued to talk for a while. I got two packets of freshly prepared sweetness; the old man did not accept money from me. Soon, I was jumping from stall to stall talking to the owners. Some knew me, some didn’t. Many new stalls had been erected. The famous Balaji Fast Food was replace by a dilapidated toy store. The density of clowns and vendors had increased. There was no place for theatricals. The space was occupied by gamblers and astrologers with all sorts of eye pleasing posters and noises to attract the crowd. Oddly enough, the stall selling fake human body parts was still present. I wasn’t concerned much though. I was happy, meeting old friends. My enthusiasm and energy were at par with that young boy who pleased or angered everyone with his mischiefs. Uncle Kamal, selling Cholas went as far as to saying, “I see no difference between you and the young Kunal.” Visiting the carnival after fourteen years was no less exciting than visiting it for the first time. The twenty six year old boy was no less excited than the twelve year old.

On a full stomach, I finally reached the Great Columbus. Everyone always advised me to not go on rides after eating. It’d be unpleasant and unhealthy; but I never listened – nothing bad ever happened to me! It was only thrill that I sought, but how could I ever feel it on an empty stomach? ‘Yeah. Its time’ I thought and paced towards it, gently nudging people aside and asking them to excuse the way. The place seemed more crowded than I could remember. With a wide smile I reached the small ticket booth and turned around. People in black and brown jackets moved in all directions. A white noise always filled the place and occasionally cries from gamblers and dogs broke the threshold. I saw a man drop his food on the dusty ground and then kick it away. Young beggars patrolled the perimeters begging and occasionally stealing for their living. A child cried faraway and the shrill voice was enough to raise up the hair on the back of my neck. I looked at their faces and there was none that I knew. Dark memories awaited this trigger. I was lost in the carnival once. A three feet tall child looking up to find strange faces. Some had smiled, some just looked. Young Kunal was scared – frozen; but mother had found him soon and the warmth of her hug and her tears melted the ice away. Somehow I felt the same today; perhaps because mother was never nearby to save me. I did not ride the Columbus – the giant swinging ship as people often called it. It was painted red and had dragons sculpted on either end.

The cold wind grew harder and I raised my coat’s collars. I sat on the railing nearby and looked at kids boarding the ride. I could be one of them. A twisted tale of time would never allow a grown man to be the same as a child. Memories are great – the can be replayed, but not relived. If so, why can’t you forever be in a memory? Why do we ever have to grow up?

“Dad! This one! We will ride this one first” said young Kunal jumping up and down.

“Okay. Calm down first. We will do it. Alright?” he shouted to be heard above the noise “Come, I will get the tickets.”

With the tickets in hand, they marched to the puny entrance gate for the Columbus. The gate, the stand, the booth, all made of grills and metal, erected overnight to appease the excited audience. The feeling resonated in me and I could see my younger self walking up to the stand in queue.

The ship seemed too big to Kunal, perhaps one of the biggest; he had not seen a real ship in twelve years of his life. ‘Would this Columbus float in the sea?’ he thought to himself. The answer lay only in his imagination. After shrills of joy and ecstasy they got off the ride. Heart still pumping fast.

“Hey! Yash!” a hand from faraway waved to them. Yash moved his head left to right scouting for the source of the voice. The stranger had come close by now.

“Hey! How are you? It’s been ages since we met” he said cheerfully “and is that your son? Look how big he has grown!”

“Raghu! Yes! How are you here?” said Yash hugging him “Yes, this is the tiny Kunal that you used to take out for treats.”

“Five years have passed! Wow!”

“Yeah!” The conversation grew deeper. “Dad” called Kunal, his voice still broken from the shouts and cries. Yash couldn’t listen – the voice was lost in the din of the crowd.

“Hey. Here!” said a soft voice from behind.

Kunal turned and to his surprize, Soha stood beside the vanilla fountain, signalling him to come to her. Kunal had always liked Soha. She was one of the nicest classmates he had. Kunal looked up at his father – still engrossed in conversation – and walked away to her.

“Hi. What are you doing here? Have you come alone?” he looked at her as she smiled.

“You sound like Frankenstein. My parents are at the Pulao stall. I told them that I’d be nearby” she looked pretty in her turquoise frock.

“And they allowed you to?” he was baffled.

“Of course. I am a responsible girl” she giggled, “Come, let’s go to the ice cream stall”

“But my father is right there” he pointed at Yash “He won’t let me go alone.”

“Don’t worry. You are under my custody”, the glamour in her eyes shone bright, “Look! I also bought some of my savings.”

“Umm. Okay” he said after some hesitation. They walked through the crowd holding hands – Soha creating the way and Kunal following her. Kunal kept smiling the entire way. However, when a stout man passed through, Kunal lost the touch of her hand. Hit by another woman, he fell down. He got up fully confused. Soha was nowhere to be seen. The trigger had been pulled. Past memories began haunting him; the absence of his mother there and then pushed him further into darkness. Petrified, he stood there with moistening eyes. ‘Help! Please!’ he whispered to himself when a hand popped out of the crowd and pulled him by the collar.

“You lose your way too easily. Is this why your parents never leave you alone? Your mother always drops you and picks you up at the right time. No parent is that punctual!” she kept blabbering but paused when she looked at his eyes “Are you crying?” She tried to control herself but the laughs burst out “Ha haha ha ahaa!”

“Shut up! You don’t know how it feels to get lost” cried Kunal. Soha calmed down as she felt the intensity of the situation.

“Okay. I’m sorry. Calm down now you!” she hugged him and the warmth melted away the ice once more. Kunal rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands – the left, followed by the right. “Yeah. It’s okay. Let’s go back to dad!”

“No, you fool, the fun has just begun! Look, the Ice cream stall!” she pointed at a stall bustling with people.

“It’s too crowded” said Kunal, but Soha had already held his hand and begun dragging him towards it.

“One double scoop Choco-mint please” she said looking up at the seller.

The seller – an old grumpy man with a fat belly – looked left and right into the crowd to find his customer; Choco-mint was not everyone’s first choice. Then he looked down to his little customers. “Oh hello. One Choco-min for the beautiful lady; and what for your gentle friend?” he asked leaning forward.

“The same” he replied.

With their snack, they stood next to the stall staring at the crowd. The lights were blinding, yet Rigel shone bright in the distant sky. “You know, you are a nice boy Kunal. But you need to be more courageous. Your parents won’t be there to help you always” she said looking at him.

“Oh, they will. They always are. Aren’t yours?” he replied sipping the cream off his lips.

“I am going to tell you a secret today. Promise not to let it out” she whispered into his ears.

“Yeah. Sure.”

“You know how I usually stay silent in the class? It’s not because I dislike others; as you must have heard. But its simply because I like to stay quiet. Is that a wrong thing to do?”

“I don’t know. But I do things that I like; so if you like to stay quiet and you do so, there cannot be anything wrong in it” he replied after some thinking.

“Exactly. Even my parents always want me to go outside and play with other friends. Where I want to stay in and read a small book.”

“Well. You can come to my house and read a book there. My mother will cook delicious Gajar ka Halwa if you request her”

“Ha! That is very good. You are a nice guy Kunal; and I’ve always liked you. Never said it before but it is what it is. You don’t hate me for staying quiet, do you?”

“No. Of course not!” he said blushing.

“So can I sit with you in the class from tomorrow?”

“Huh? What?” he said in excitement. His golden cheeks were warm and red by now.

“Yeah. Please” she tapped his shoulder.

“Yes. You can” he nodded “I’ll ask Patrick to sit somewhere else.” Melting Ice-cream had travelled down the cone to touch Kunal’s hand, as though asking him to be eaten right there.

“Wow! Don’t worry, Patrick will be able to sit back with you from a week later” she smiled “I know you are very good friends.”

“A week?” he bit half the scoop off of his cone.

“Yes. My father is a government employee. He’s being transferred next week and so am I” she sighed.

“What?” his smile turned to a frown.

“Yeah. So its only a week. Let’s have a lot of fun by then.”

“Yes! Yes we will!” he laughed.

“Okay, we need to get back to our parents now. They will start to worry soon.”

“Yes. I’ll see you at the school then?”

“No. I’ll take you to your dad first. What if you lose your way?” she chuckled.

“I won’t” he said sternly then looked at the passing crowd. The people were few but a crowd was a crowd! “I can go” he said taking a deep breath.

“Shut up you silly” she walked ahead and signalled him to follow her.

He smiled looking at her walk away, then he dashed quickly to her. “So will you be going back to your house now?” she asked.

“No! I still have to ride the Haunted Coaster.”

“Ew! That scary ride. Someone had fainted on the ride and was later hospitalised years ago – My father told me” she shrugged her shoulders.

“Must be a weak man. I am strong. I will not faint in there.” He said with a thick voice.

“Let’s not take any chances. I wouldn’t want to lose a nice strong boy there!” she giggled. Kunal smiled, laughed as he looked at her.

“Look. There’s your father. Still talking to that man. Go now!” they had reached the fountain.

“Bye then. I’ll see you at school on Monday; and I am glad that we met today!” he said and dashed to this father; he turned back on his way and there she stood still waving at him.

“Cool. So I will get the files to your house tomorrow and we can discuss on it” said Yash with his palm covering his chin.

“Sounds nice. Will catch you later then” he hugged Yash “Bye Kunal; you should come with him tomorrow.”

“Bye” replied Kunal and looked at his father.

“Now, let’s quickly get you to the haunted ride and go home” said Yash rubbing his hands.

“I don’t want to get on the ride. Let’s go home” he said calmly.

“What? But didn’t you drag me here for that very ride; and how did you pants get so dirty?”

“I met a friend dad. Right here; as you were talking.” Their talks went on for a while before they walked out of the exit gate. They had to circle around the carnival to reach their car.

I giggled for a second or two realising this memory. I never knew I had it in the first place. It felt great. Time passes on, but the feelings remain fresh as always. Delighted, I decided to walk to the ice cream stall once before leaving. The seller was different, but I ordered the same – double scoop Choco-mint. Someone tapped my shoulder as I waited for my order. “Order two” a sweet voice said from the beginning.

“Wow! This is amazing! How are you?” I said smiling and laughing.

“Cool as always. But you had left town. Why are you here?” she replied.

“To meet you of course! Have you come alone again?”

“Yeah. Just the way I like!”

“Here’s your order” said the young seller as he passed on the Ice cream. “Another one please” I said taking it from him. Just as I turned around, Soha snatched it away from me “I need to go right now. My mother will kill me else! Give me your number.” I dictated the digits; then she rushed away before I could say anything else. I received the ice cream and then a text that read ‘Your ice-cream debt is now settled.’ I smiled and looked up at the sky. Rigel still shone bright in the distance. ‘Perhaps growing up is not that sad’ I thought and walked away.